Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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