my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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