i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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