Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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