i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize