Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
