it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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