Betty ford says i'm here all night
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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