i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize