Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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