I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize