yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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