It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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