They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
