Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
