I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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