somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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