Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
