Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
