you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
