i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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