I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
