She announced her abortion via fbk
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
