just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
