Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
