Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize