It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
