I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
