Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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