Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize