yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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