i just had sex bonerless
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
