how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize