I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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