Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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