So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
