i may or may not be watching the land before time
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
