In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
