the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
