I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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