I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
