i barfeds in our rink
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
