I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
she smelled like a LAN party
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
