I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize