Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize