fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
