lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
