Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
