SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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