Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
