He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
