Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
