Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize