We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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