stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
FUCK WHALES
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
