so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
