Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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