He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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